Welcome, Ben Tanzer. This Is Your Life

‘Tis been a long time, yes? I am going to start posting here more often. That’s my belated New Year’s resolution. It’s starts today. I have something wonderful to bestow upon you.

My good friend Ben Tanzer’s e-Book Repetition Patternshas been available for a few months now from CCLAP Books run by the famed Jason Pettus. It’s what Jason P. calls a story cycle, which I take to mean a short collection of stories, most of which have been published before but some have not. In short, the book rules. It’s been getting a lot of good press. Visit the CCLAP website and download the book. It’s a pay-what-you-can situation, so pay what you can.

This month, Ben is on a virtual book tour of varied blogs, and today I am honored to have him stop by this ole’ blog for two things: a guest essay written as a diary of bizarre version of my life (prepare for some deep laughts) and a podcast interview I did with Ben a few months back. Both are quite excellent. Read the essay–Ben makes me out to be cool. Listen to the podcast–Ben’s got some wonderful things to say. Without further ado, I give you Ben Tanzer.

Living La Vida Ostdick by Ben Tanzer
 
I am awake. But, where am I? Home, yes? Good. 
 
Wait, whose arm is that? And legs? And why are there so many? One, two, three women, undressed and asleep in my bed, odd, how did this go down?
 
I was at the reading, I was rocking it and people were loving me, celebrating me frankly, and then we started drinking the Absinthe, and there you go, another lost night.
 
I walk over to the mirror still groggy. Should I trim my beard? It definitely makes me look mysterious and worldly. And the chicks definitely dig it, but it’s so itchy.
 
I need to wake-up. I splash some water on my face and notice another girl in the bathtub. She is still breathing. Good.
 
I make some coffee, eat a Pop Tart, blueberry, and frosted, of course, and I feel the fog start to lift.
 
I ask the girls to leave. It is time to write.
 
I stretch. I put on Enya. I take my socks off and then my shirt. I will write in my boxers today, better to commune with the character, a man who wants to better connect with his brother, but feels his brother’s desire to wear boxers and not briefs stands between them, the boxers being a metaphor for fratricide.
 
I decide to update my Facebook photo first. My new webcam is the bomb.
 
I sit down at the computer and start to recite my pre-writing mantra, “I am the best writer I can be. And I am definitely better than that fucker Jason Jordan. Way better.”
 
I repeat this six times.
 
I am good to go.
 
I walk back over to the mirror. I don’t want to trim my beard do I? No. Look what happened to Samson.
 
I sit back down at the computer. Something is amiss in the story and not quite right. I remove a comma. Nice. I put it back-in. Very nice.
 
I microwave a Hot Pocket.
 
I go back onto Facebook and change my photo.
 
I watch RedTube.
 
I take a nap.
 
I wake-up and drink some oolong tea with a touch of Hazelnut.
 
I walk back to the computer. I remove the comma. I put it back in again.
 
I stare into the mirror. I am so keeping this beard.
 
I sit down at the computer, hit send and submit the story to Pindeldyboz.
 
I eat some Ramen and prepare for the upcoming night’s reading.
 
Life is good.

—

Now for the podcast, recorded live at New Wave Coffeehouse in Logan Square. For your listening pleasure.

This Podcast Will Change Your Life – The Nick Ostdick edition. – This Podcast Will Change Your Life

Orange Alert Reading Series

Happy New Year!

Hope everyone is doing well.

I will be reading at the January edition of the Orange Alert Reading series on January 18th at The Whistler in Chicago. It should be fun. This reading series has had some really impressive guests and I’m quite humbled that owner/operator Jason Berhends asked me. Details and flyer below.

Orange Alert Reading Series
Sunday, January 18th
2421 N Milwaukee Ave
Chicago, IL
7 PM
FREE
Featuring Scott Stealey, Chris Bower, and Jill Summers.

I’ll be reading something new. Hope to see you there.

Happy Holidays to All: Let The Best Of Lists Begin

On the backside of Christmas, I want to wish you all a happy holiday season. Thanks to all of you who read my stuff, who comment on it, who enjoy or hate it. You all rock it.

And now, let the Best Of countdowns begin. I was late on my holiday shopping so I’m going to get a head start on this. What follows are some of my recommendations for some of the best things that happened or came out in 2008. Hope you enjoy.

Best Book: ‘Demons in The Spring’ by Joe Meno.
This is Meno’s second collection of stories, and while I think that as a whole his first collection was better, Demons contains some of the best individual stories in Meno’s cannon. Surreal and absurd yet with just right amount of emotional resonance, when these stories are on they’re on.
Runner up: Ben Tanzer’s Most Likely You’ll Go Your Way and I’ll Go Mine. The first release from Orange Alert Press, and Tanzer does not disappoint, taking us in a new and ultimately satisfying direction than his first novel Lucky Man.

Best Movie: The Dark Knight.
The sequel to Batman Begins which rebooted the long-dead series. Flat out, The Dark Knight takes what comic-book movies and films in general should be to a new level. See it.

Best Album: Evil Urges by My Morning Jacket.
While they weren’t all that hot in concert on a cold October night in Milwaukee, Evil Urges was a solid follow-up to the commercial and critical success of their previous effort Z. Not quite as cohesive a record as Z, but definitely an album worth checking out.
Runner up: Stay Positive by The Hold Steady. I came late to this one, like three or four days ago, but it’s good–knock down rock songs, fun and energetic.
Runner, runner up, Which Now That I Listen To It Might Be A Contender for Best Album: The Fleet Foxes by The Fleet Foxes. Pitchfork just named it their number one pick, so you know, if nothing else, it’s going to be trendy.

Best President-Elect: Barack Obama. Hands down.

Best Short Story Published by a Lit Mag: Sunday Morning in 1982 by Susan Petrone, published by Featherproof Books.
One in their series of mini-books, Petrone’s story of two sisters getting into a car wreck is supreme: subtle and complex with just the right amount of pop-culture references. It’s a story with a lot of heart. Google it. Read it.

Biggest and Thus Best Letdown: Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull.
A nightmare, to be sure. Don’t see it. It’s just adequate.

Best Most Likely Guilty Governor Who Is Going To Hang On Until The Bitter End: Rod Blagoevich? (Is that how you spell it?)

Best Print Lit Mag: Crab Orchard Review.

Best Online Lit Mag:  Hobart has rocked it this year.

Best Thing About This Year: The weather. 70’s during the summer and 50’s in November.  Ahhhh….

Some Things I’ve Been Diggin’

Finishing up my penultimate semester as an undergrad/applying to grad schools (I won’t like waiting to hear back and collecting the rejections though).

Blago’s general attitude toward everyone/everything. The guy’s got balls, that’s for sure.

This story in Night Train by Matt Bell

Snow. Lots of it.

Eggnog. More of it than snow, actually.

This Featherproof Mini by Susan Petrone. Seriously, one of the best short stories I’ve read in a while.

Leinenkugel’s Fireside Nut Brown Ale. Tasty to the last.

Sleeping with the heat on full and the window open wide.

Trains. Toy and otherwise.

The January edition of the Orange Alert Reading Series which I’ll be reading at alongside Jill Summers, Scott Stealey, and Chris Bower. I think I’ve read with each of those writers before. It’s going to be a blast. More info later on.

House. Hugh Laurie is a badass.

Coffee. Coffee. Coffee.

Staying up late revising and sleeping in (I hope to do those things soon).

Repetition Patterns

To start, I’ll say that Ben Tanzer is a friend of mine. We’ve known each other for almost two years now, give or take. We’ve read together, drank together, critiqued each other stories, sent dozens and dozens of emails to each other, at once about everything and nothing, neither of each holding any more value than the other. I know him. I’m glad I do.

I start this way because on my blog I tend to promote my friends, to help them out with a nice post whenever they have something that deserves attention. And I start this way because what I’m about to say about Ben’s newest offering Repetition Patterns, an eBook from The Chicago Center for Literature and Photography, cleverly titled CCLAP, is not at all influenced by our friendship. The forthcoming praise would be due if I had no idea whole the hell Ben Tanzer is. That is to say, I’d love the book whether he’s bought me drinks or not.

The ’story cycle,’ as CCLAP publisher Jason Pettus calls it, is a series of six or seven somewhat interconnected stories, many of which take place in upstate New York and revolve around adolescence and childhood. The prose is starkly elegant, channeling Raymond Carver, and the themes and characters reflect the edgy, gritty stories of Junot Diaz. They center around, like most of Tanzer’s work, the idea of coping–of how people deal with events in their lives, both good and bad, strange and mundane.

My personal favorite is the ‘The Babysitter,’ which originally appeared in the renowed Chicago-based publication THE2NDHAND. ‘Pac-Man Fever’ is another solid story that reminds me of Ha Jin’s ‘The Day Cowboy Chicken Came to Town.’ Except ‘Fever’ has videogames. Videogames are much better than chicken.

One of the best parts of RP is that it’s free–sort of. Publisher Jason Pettus published the book online as a pay-what-you-like eBook, available for download in a number of different formats. Pettus has really found a interesting niche with this, and this book is ideal to have on your desktop for a quick read–these stories work best when sifted through, when you take ten minutes or so and ingest one a day, the true genius of this type of publishing.

Bottom line: buy Repetition Patterns. Pay for it, if you’re so inclined. Savor it. I’m telling you to do so.

Links:

Repetition Patterns website
Ben Tanzer’s blog

50 Word Story Segment, Thanksgiving Edition

One of the many things I’m grateful for this year is Jac Jemc, a prolific Chicago-based writer of fiction and poetry that recently caught my eye. She rocks. Google her. Trust me. Would I lie to you on Thanksgiving?

Without further ado, here she is.

Bipartisan
—
Anna’s two selves are sitting alone in the living room. Anna is tirelessly introducing these selves to each other. Anna is always both, but sometimes she is so much one that she forgets about the other. When this happens it can be hard to stand, let alone walk away.
—
1. Where did this story come from? Describes it’s genesis?

I had a post-it with the first line sitting on my desk for a few weeks. I read that line over and over. I added a new line every couple days. I’ve deleted all those, because they were lines for a longer story.

2. Who are you? What makes you so amazingly cool that we just had to interview you?

I am Jac Jemc. Perhaps you did not know, but I am all the rage right now. Ha. Just kidding. No, but seriously, I was talking with some friends that do different arty things and we were griping about how we’d have to explain our lives to relatives at Thanksgiving and how those relatives would say things like, “So, have you written a bestseller yet?” or “Have you won an Oscar?” I decided it was best to beat them to the punch and make them feel un-hip by saying, “Oh, haven’t you heard? I’m all the rage,” and then go on to list all of the venues which they are too uncool to know about.

Also, I am very good at making fancy potato casseroles, I have a pet hedgehog named Werner, and I do not have control of my facial expressions. Beat that, Uncle Ted.

3. What are you working on right now? Can you tell us? Stores? Poems? Novels? One of those tiny ships in a bottle?

Well, it is a secret I am making up right now, but I’ll tell you anyway. I am working on building up a large body of tiny stories. Like maybe I could write a thousand of them and gather them up in a fat little book. Also, I have been writing poems about monsters and also poem-ish monologues by historical figures on the fringe. I have a novel manuscript that is away from home right now, trying to figure out if it can lay down roots elsewhere. I am also working on eating one of those fancy potato casseroles I made.

4. Think fast: favorite short story or novel at the moment? Of all time?

I am currently obsessed with a story by Jincy Willett called, “The Haunting of the Lingards.” Of all time: “The Man from Bogota,” by Amy Hempel. All time novel is, The Book of Disquietude, by Fernando Pessoa, if that can be counted as a novel. If not, Wittgenstein’s Mistress by David Markson.

5. If you could start a band full of writers, of literary greats and contemporary stars, who would be in your band and what instrument would they be on (four or five members only, otherwise the van gets too crowded and smelly)?

We would be a country-type band. Mark Yakich would play the keyboard. Carole Maso on drums. George Saunders on lead guitar. Gertrude Stein on bass. Mary Hamilton and Lindsay Hunter could sing, but they would sound just like Linda Ronstadt and Aaron Neville. I would be the seamstress.

6. What would be one writing tip you would give to someone just starting out?

Sit down everyday and do it, even if it’s for five minutes. You’ll feel better.

7. What’s on the horizon for you? What’s next—i.e., publications, events/readings, etc.

I’m reading in the Reconstruction Room for their “Reading Bondage: Only the Microphone Was Ashamed” night, December 3, 2008 at the Black Rock. I’m also going to read in the new Orange Alert Reading Series December 16th, at The Whistler. I have a little chapbook coming out in January from ML Press and stories should be coming out soon in bearcreekfeed, Mourning Silence, and Caketrain. You can always read about the people that don’t like my work (and the few that do) at jacjemc.wordpress.com.

Jason Jordan’s House In The Sky

Let it be known:

Superb writer Jason Jordan has a new story called The House in The Sky recently published at Storyglossia. As someone who has racked up a few nice reject letters from this venue, I can appreciate the hard work Jordan has put into this story. Plus, it’s quite good–one of my personal favorites of his.

Get your butt on over there and read it.

Stay tuned to this blog later in the week for a rousing endorsement of a recently published work…

Pete Anderson’s Been Oranged

Good friend and writer Peter Anderson has finally has his day with Orange Alert creator Jason Berhends. And does that Anderson know how to name drop–and boy he looks damn fine doing it too. Anderson’s got some really great things to say, so head on over to Orange Alert and read his interview. Tell him I sent you…

New Lindsay Hunter

Writer and friend Lindsay Hunter, co-host of the Chicago reading series QUICKIES, has a great little story in the November issue of Hobart. It’s quite good. Check it out.

Today Is A Day of Good Things

“Out of many, we are one.”

We have arrived, folks. Change is coming.

Today is a new day, and as such we have a new 50 Word Story Segment with writer Brandi Wells. Brandi is a student at Georgia Southern University soon to graduate with a BA in Writing and Linguistics and a BA in English. Her fiction appears in or is forthcoming in Hobart, Monkeybicycle, Word Riot, The Saint Ann’s Review, Dark Sky Magazine and other journals, and she has a new chapbook available from ML Press which you can read about here. I highly advise that you do.

In Place of Oranges

—

She climbs the knobby tree trunk, clumsily, falling and restarting until she can reach the base of the man’s neck. She breaks him free of his stem and slides down the trunk, to the ground where she stands in his shit and piss, cradling him like he is her own.

—

 

1. Where did this story come from? Describes it’s genesis?

 

It’ll probably be part of a longer story and it’s part of a series of things I’m writing about oranges which I think I’m going to call “Man will grow in place of oranges.” I’ve been having dreams about oranges for the last month. I don’t actually like oranges. They do not taste very good and are too much work to peel.

 

2. Who are you? What makes you so amazingly cool that we just had to interview you?

 

I’m Brandi Wells. If you Google “Brandi Wells” there is an R&B artist with that name and a very ugly girl about my age that was kidnapped. Recently I think one or two things show up on the first page of Google results that are actually me. It makes me feel famous.

 

Also, I am very good at boggle, I like hamburgers, I can probably drink more wine than you and I am not good at carving jack-o-lanterns.

 

3. What are you working on right now? Can you tell us? Stores? Poems? Novels? One of those tiny ships in a bottle?

 

I’m working on a series of stories all revolving around oranges. Orange flavored candy, orange cleaning product, orange scented candles. Like I said earlier, I think I’m going to call them “Man will grow in place of oranges.”

 

Also, I’m editing stories for grad school applications. Give me money for grad school applications. It is very expensive.

 

4. Think fast: favorite short story or novel at the moment? Of all time?

 

Recently, I really liked Brian Evenson’s story in No Colony, titled “Discrepancy.” Of all time I’d probably say Frank Herbert’s Dune or Dune Messiah. I’m a huge geek. I read a ton of sci-fi crap.

 

6. If you could start a band full of writers, of literary greats and contemporary stars, who would be in your band and what instrument would they be on (four or five members only, otherwise the van gets too crowded and smelly)?

 

I think I’d make it a two person folk-punk band. Sean Ruane would sing and I would clap my hands sometimes. Sometimes I wouldn’t. I would just sit off to the side and say, “yeah.” Maybe I’d get drunk and piss myself. If Sean can’t sing, we’re fucked.

 

6. What would be one writing tip you would give to someone just starting out?

 

I don’t think I’m in any position to give tips. Read things you like and write things like those things.

 

7. What’s on the horizon for you? What’s next—i.e., publications, events/readings, etc.

 

Monkey Bicycle is going to publish one of my orange stories on their website and JA Tyler is going to publish maybe three orange stories in a small chapbook with his new press ‘ml press’ at http://www.mudlusciouspress.blogspot.com/

 

I’m graduating this December with my BA in Creative Writing and a BA in English. I’m working on grad school applications right now and hopefully this time next year I’ll be somewhere getting my MFA in fiction writing.

 

Thanks, Brandi. We enjoyed having you.